The Athletic Journey – Fun is the key!

As much as my profession is as a snowboard coach, I did not actually see the snow until I was 19. Up until then, and actually, many years after, I surfed competitively and played rugby. I never got into sports to be a legend, or to be the world’s best, I participated because they were fun, and I enjoyed the time sharing those passions with my friends. I look back on those times as the BEST times of my life (apart from the birth of my kids). I don’t remember my best results, or my best games, but remember just being stoked on progressing, getting better and all the life lessons and experiences sport gave me. I remember how FUN it was!

We live in a different time now. We live in a period of instant gratification. Some athletes, parents and coaches want everything yesterday, and the striving to be “the best” has now overshadowed why it was our kids got involved in sport: for the FUN of it.

I have been fortunate to work with some of the world’s best snowboarders. Its been an absolute blessing, and one of the big keys to their success has been they still really enjoy what they do. Snowboarding to them is fun. They enjoy progressing and pushing their own limits. They enjoy the process. They enjoy landing new tricks, they get stoked on learning new skills. The results, the endorsements, the awards are just the bonus from that.

Throughout my career, I have tried to focus on my guys having fun. Now fun does not always have to mean laughing, carrying on and having contests of who can be the biggest goof ball. There is fun in getting better, there is fun is enlarging your comfort zone, there is fun in competition, there is fun in getting fitter and stronger.

As coaches, we have a responsibility to make sure our athletes are having fun. That they are getting some life skills and lessons from athletics. That they walk away from their time with us with a lifelong passion of their sport. My hope is when I see my athletes years from now, they will be out shredding with their own kids, and remember their time working with me and their coaches as one of the best times of their lives.

As a parent, all I want for my kids is that they follow their passions, and give it all they have. My kids are into dance, karate and singing. I don’t care whether Oliver wins a Gold at the karate world championships, or Charlotte has the lead in Swan Lake with the New York Ballet Company. All I care is that they work hard, enjoy what they do and have FUN. That they reach their own potential, and learn lots of lessons that will hold them in good stead as they become adults.

I have not always been in this camp. Early on in my career, I really pushed my athletes. I wanted it for them, and I wanted it for myself. It was only a recipe for disappointment and for burn out. Its only as I got older, and had kids of my own has my attitude changed.

Not every kid is going to be Shaun White, or Kaitlyn Farrington, a Sage Kotsenburg, or a Jamie Anderson. To set those expectations on kids as a coach or parent is just plain unfair.

At the end of the day, we have done our job as coaches and parents if our kid is coming off the field of play with a smile on their face, a sense of accomplishment, and a desire to keep improving themselves. That’s a job well done!

As Arthur Ashe says; “Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.”

Keep it fun, enjoy the process, and all our kids will thrive!

Life lessons learnt thru divorce

All in all, my divorce was pretty mellow. The kid’s mum and I are still good friends, and we still have a family unit. Not the normal family unit we all think of, but we can still hang out as a family, have fun and its been as pain free on the kids as possible. All in all, not too bad.

For me, the divorce threw me in at the deep end…BIG TIME! Not only did I have to go it solo, but I had my 2 grommets that I had to consider as well.

Most of the stuff that I truly suck at has been magnified 100%. I find it hard to get inspired in the kitchen (although I do love BBQing….grilling as its called here in the US), I pretty much suck financially, I procrastinate when it comes to cleaning, I would rather slam my head in a car door than grocery shop….but I never knew how much I sucked until I was being a “lone wolf” with every single detail of not only my life, but 50% of my kids time as well.

So here is a list of the things I have learned:

1. KEEP LEARNING AND TRYING: When I coach, I am a big believer in “mileage”. Basically, the more you do something, the better you get, and the more enjoyable it becomes. I have found this philosophy works in any facet of life. When I first got my own place, I dreaded cooking, but I had to make sure that my kids were eating well. To cook, APPARENTLY you have to shop. Combining 2 things that don’t particularly “rev my engine” was a double source of angst. But you know what, I really enjoy cooking now. I have become more creative, my kids actually LIKE my cooking, and I have managed to simplify things so that I am actually becoming more efficient. I am more efficient at shopping too, and this has helped to lower the bill a little bit…..but I still would prefer finding the car door than shop!

2. SCHEDULES ARE YOUR FRIEND: I’m a big picture guy. I get bored easily. I’m not always “on it” with details. I like to free wheel and wing it a lot. This does not work when raising kids. Thanks to the kid’s mum, who is super organized, I am gradually learning to get on top of that. I design schedules, plans, short term and long term goals, design training programs as part of my job….but have been remiss with it in my own life. So I am now coaching myself. Treating myself as one of my own athletes. Anyone with kids will tell you there is never enough hours in the day. For a single parent, that goes double! I now have a schedule. I know there are certain things I have to do every night to balance a house, a job, my kids and myself. And you know what? Its pretty cool! I like how my house looks when I clean it, I have become anal (for me anyway) about my kitchen, and my kids are buying in as well. You have to be scheduled!

3. ASK FOR HELP: Don’t be scared to ask for help! I am your typical bull headed, I can handle anything, I wont ask for help, Australian male. And that’s just idiotic! I was talking to a friend last night who is a single parent. She reminded me it takes a village to raise a child, and that is makes plain good sense to ask for help. It not only helps you, but helps your child be adaptable, responsible and form other great bonds with a close knit support group. No-one can be an expert at everything, and with your own kids, you just cant screw up by being too proud or arrogant to seek help. It’s for the best of your kids!

4. YOUR WEAKNESSES GET MAGNIFIED SO WORK ON THEM!: Embracing your weaknesses or fears is the best way to manage them. As I mentioned, I am missing the “responsible financial gene”. Its not I’m a spend thrift, or buy stupid things, its just I find it super complicated, and I dread looking at bills, bank statements. Call it my little phobia. I just like things simple. I have set up everything on bill pay. It has worked, mostly, until this week. This week has been beyond stressful, but it also highlighted that there are some things you cant figure out yourself. It made realize there are experts for my can help me manage this better, and I just reached out one. I think its important that once you have recognized a weakness, and you cant improve it YOURSELF no matter how hard you try, go get some help and work on that weakness.

5. KIDS ARE REMARKABLE AND ADAPTABLE: It has brought me and my kids closer. They love being with me, they love being with their mum. I really value that time. I love being a bigger part of their lives. I love raising them how I was raised. We have a lot of fun. The time flies fast so value it. The kids have bounced backed so well from the divorce, and are thriving.

6. PERSONAL TIME IS ESSENTIAL: Taking time for yourself is super important. Time to decompress. I doubt anyone feels awesome after a divorce. I definitely beat myself up for a good 6 months. It took me a while to take time to myself. Even just cleaning up my house is therapeutic. I take time to write these articles. Its awesome. It has enabled me to become comfortable with myself again. Its not selfish. If you are unhappy with yourself, others will be too. You only live with one person 24/7 and thats yourself, so treat yourself well!

7. SALT WATER THERAPY: Take a surf trip every year! It’s my passion, and you need to spoil yourself occasionally!

There are always positives in everything, even divorce. It can take time to find them, but they are there! Peace friends!

The Balance Between Participation and Winning.

It was interesting reading a series of articles over the past few weeks about the participation in youth sports, and particularly, team sports dropping at significant rates over the past couple of years.

Even in my sport of snowboarding, and in snowsports generally, there seems to be a dip happening in  club programs of kids becoming engaged in structured programs.

The US is a unique animal in regards to sports. It has a system in place starting from middle school thru to college in many sports, that tends to “weed” out the under achievers, and highlights only those that shine as outliers. In many sports, kids are “done” before the age of 13. There seem to be a variety of factors for this. Pressure to perform put on them by themselves, parents and coaches. This pressure can then in turn learn to a lack of enjoyment. The pressure on coaches to win from a very early age that forces them to play the best players only, and leaves the lesser lights disengaged and not feeling part of the team. The pressure from parents who invest so much money and time in their kids, and put unrealistic expectations on their kids. I am a parent, its a natural thing. We want to protect our kids, feel our kids are more talented than they really are, and in lots of cases want it more for their kids than the kids want it themselves. When you consider that for many families, athletics is a ticket to college, a better education and a better life, its an understandable phenomena. Some of these kids will actually make it at the highest level, making a career out of it!

But, is this what is right for our kids? Should kids that truly love a sport or hobby be shuffled out of the sport at such an early age because they are not the best? From a athletic development standpoint, I would argue it makes no sense anyway. There are late bloomers, kids mature at different rates, and levels of passion kick in at different times as well.

I think one of the problems we are really dealing with is one of culture. We live in a world where winning is celebrated. I have no real problem with this. This has been prevalent, and will remain being prevalent until the end of time. For elite sports, of course winning is a key component. Every human wants to be successful, to be a winner. Its good for the psyche, for confidence and as a tracker of success……and thats not even considering the great social and community ramifications that athletic success brings. That’s why we have elite athletic programs.

But what this culture has inadvertently done is stopped coaches and parents from celebrating participation in sports. To celebrate effort, desire and the physical benefits from participating in sports.

I have been blessed to have worked for a GREAT sports organization for the past 10 years. It has a great philosophy, has developed Olympians and high end performers, but what I am most proud about, is it has developed great young people. In our snowboard program, we have dealt with the balance between participation and elite athletics. It has highlighted that there is a need for 2 distinct pipelines (participation vs elite), so that ALL the kids can have a positive experience and receive all they need to achieve success!

But what is success? This is one of the bigger questions. If we define success just as winning, then this is very narrow scope by which to be involved in youth sports, and its going to lead to major disappointments, and a further drop in participation. How we define success as coaches and parents needs to change. A focus needs to be given more on personal success of our kids, the acquiring of new skills and progression, and on highlighting areas of personal growth, work ethic and determination. Should winning not be celebrated? Not at all. Its a HUGE part of sport, but maybe a shift is needed to highlight other areas to expand the definition of success for our kids.

Communication to this is the key. Communication between coaches, athletes and parents. Our program named it the CAP relationship. I think there is a need in today’s youth sports for coaches to be honest on whether or not a kid is on an elite track or not, and that this decision does not need to be made until the kids are a little bit older so that they have SOME time to develop physically, mentally and athletically. Parents expectations need to be managed, and changed from a “winning” mentality into one of the benefits of participation and the life skills, lessons and healthy lifestyle that their child is living. Especially at younger ages, the idea of building athletic skills should take precedence over results. (I personally never got hung up on what results our riders were getting until they reach 13 or 14. I celebrated the acquisition of tricks and new skills). We as coaches also need to focus on celebrating effort and participation more, to celebrate the process as much as we celebrate the end result. By coaches and parents, together, changing this mindset, will help the athletes concentrate on getting better, enjoying the journey and then defining success as more than just winning.

This all sounds in good in theory, but it will also require a massive shift in many of the sporting systems our kids are part of. I am happy to say that my sport of snowboarding has a competition system thru the USASA that allows kids that love to snowboard, and love to compete, participate in snowboarding through out their whole lives, while also providing a critical piece of the elite pipe line as well. The USASA Nationals maybe my favorite event in all of snowboarding. With over 500 competitors, ranging in age from 4 – 70 + it gets like minded, passionate people together to snowboard and compete. Its a great thing.

The time has come for sporting clubs and associations to start building out 2 distinct pipelines that celebrate and cater for all our kids. One based on the earmarked elite athletes, and one that lets kids that love to sport to still progress and participate with fun the key. Both the pipelines will provide our kids those awesome life lessons that athletics provides, and give the kids the chance to succeed. This will also help in making sure that our kids get the training and resources they need at their level of skill. The great thing with this, from an athlete development standpoint, is it provides a system for those “late bloomers” to continue developing their skills with out a whole lot of pressure, and also allows them to transition into an elite pipeline at a later age.

It will also mean that a financial premium will be put on kids in the elite pipeline, but also help to make it more affordable for those that want to participate at a lower level. But thats life. In all sectors of our life, us as consumers pay more for premium services.

Participation is the key to building and developing ANY sport. Its key in keeping our kids fit and healthy, learning skills and lessons that they will take it into their future lives. Its a key to keeping our kids happy. The balance between participation and winning will always exist, but we all need to work together so that participation begins to be celebrated as much as we celebrate winning.

Being on the other side – A parent in an elite environment.

I just returned from a trip with my kids and their mom from out East. The trip served 2 purposes. One was to check out areas for us to all live in June and look at some available properties on the market, but the most important reason was for my 2 kids to audition for a performing arts academy, my kid’s true passions in life.

My kids are only 10, in 5th grade and young for their class, and will be entering 6th grade next year. The academy they wanted to audition for goes from grades 6 – grade 12, and concentrates on all the arts: visual, dance, instruments, singing etc. The school itself is publicly funded, and part of the public schooling system. Needless to say, the kids that apply for the school come from many economic and social backgrounds, from affluent to those that would struggle to be above the poverty line.

The school is awesome. Dedicated staff that are well trained and credentialed, and the kids we met that attend the academy are polite, excited, offered encouragement to my and all the other kids auditioning and are great role models for the school. You could definitely tell that its a happening place by the atmosphere and the smiling faces of the children. Any parent would be happy to have their kids attend there.

I met some nice parents too. All dedicated to their kids, and clearly had tried their very best, like all parents, to give their kids every opportunity in life. Some were super intense, as were their kids, a lot of very nervous 10 – 12 year old kids put in a truly pressure filled, adult situation. Needless to say, it was a very different view from the parent’s perspective than one that you get from being a coach! If you have ever seen the opening scene in the movie Jerry Macguire, you will know what I am talking about. Definitely some singularly focused young grommets running around!

It was a really good study of seeing elite situations (be it in sport or the arts) from another set of shoes and here are some of my take aways from the whole situation:

1. Every parent and child’s situation is different from both a social and economic perspective. I met a lovely African-American woman. Her son was a terrific and very polite young man. He was auditioning for piano and had been getting dedicated lessons since he was 4 years old. So 7 years of deliberate practice, all for this moment. For their family, this was a chance to get him into a GREAT school with the hopes of then receiving a scholarship for college in the future. The emotional and financial investment from their limited means was huge. Talk about pressure! With 200 5th graders auditioning, and only 20 being accepted, he had to be in the Top 10% to qualify for the school. Just let those numbers marinate for a bit. He, like my son, had a 1 in 10 chance of making it. This was truly the only option this mother had to better her life. I am pulling for this kid and family. Its such a game changer.

2. I am not a fan of specialization at this young age. Me and the kids mom only have simple wishes for our kids: to try their best, enjoy the process and most importantly, to be happy. We want well rounded kids that are involved in lots of different sports, hobbies and activities. We are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, but we have the means to achieve this for our kids. We are both single parents with separate households, and every month is a struggle, but we are far better off than some of the families that attended these auditions. Many of these families are forced into specialization at early ages because they LOVE their kids, and want what is best for them. Getting into this school is just the first step to achieving that. They don’t have the ability to allow their kids to be involved in lots of activities. This is their one passion, their one focus. I get it!

3. BUT…these kids are battled hardened! Some of these kids had been in a K-5 performing arts elementary school. They had been immersed in the culture, and it was just another step in their progression. For kids like mine, this was their first audition! Puts them at a huge disadvantage, but also provided them with some huge life lessons. I am proud to say they gave it their all, and after some tears and stress walked out happy.

4. Dealing with disappointment from your kids just sucks! Nothing worse as a parent to see your kids hurting. Everything is so black and white to them. If they don’t get selected, to them it means they suck! The kids mom and I had to deal with it, but man, my heart goes out to those parents and kids where this audition was a potential life changer. It can be catastrophic! There is no parent playbook for dealing with this. I am lucky from my career I have years of experience dealing with it, but its never easy. I truly have a better understanding of why some parents go nuts in situations like this. The most important person in life has just been crushed, and protective instincts go into overdrive. If, as a parent, you don’t have the experience and training dealing with these situations, its a whirlwind!

5. I still believe failure and adversity are a good thing, and a kids reaction to it will stick. For my kids, this was definitely a turning point. They did really well in one audition, not so good in the other. I was so proud of the way they dealt with the adversity, picked themselves back up and charged forward. We were able to talk after everything had settled down and identify the things we had learnt from it, things to be proud of, and celebrate the process and the journey. To see them understand that regardless of whether they are selected or not, does not make them whom they are, take away from their hard work, nor take away from the improvements they made in their craft. I have never been so proud of them!

6. Parents feel the hurt too, even when the intentions are good. The kids mom was beating herself up a bit, questioning why we put our kids into such a stressful situation. We did it because we love our kids, that we want them to have opportunity to chase their passions! We both agreed that some great life lessons were acquired as take aways. There is always that fine line we tread as parents between SUPPORTING our kids and PUSHING our kids. We struggle between protecting them, wanting to make sure they never get hurt or feel pain thru failure, yet know we have to put them into situations where failure helps them grow and develop as people. I like a couple of Michael Jordan’s quotes, that I think any person, and especially parents and coaches can embrace: “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” and something I tell my kids all the time “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” Kids…hell, all of us….will fail more than we succeed, and we need to keep that in perspective. It highlighted to me that effort needs to be celebrated as much as results.

After all is said and done, us as parents create the culture we set for our kids. Clearly external factors like financial means, social factors and countless others can really determine what that culture is. I find parenting, like coaching, works best when I keep it simple. Love your kids, support them, celebrate effort and know that failure and disappointment are often time the seeds to substantial personal growth.

Not “winning” does not equate to losing

Youth sports is undertaking an interesting, and in my opinion, a scary metamorphosis. This is happening from soccer, to grid iron, from ski racing to snowboarding, from karate to even the arts. We are seeing a leak coming from elite, professional sport that is pervading into even the lowest levels of sport, right at the young age group in the development segments.

I read with much interest an article here: http://www.soccerwire.com/blog-posts/poaching-vs-coaching-can-you-tell-the-difference/

It highlights how the culture of “winning” is now pervasive even at the youngest ages of the sport, and the development of skills, fun, camaraderie and the life long love of a sport is taking a back seat.

Now, using full disclosure, I make my living working with elite athletes, but I have also been fortunate to work my way up from the youngest, development athletes to where I am now.  But my fondest memories, and those of my athletes, are those days of nailing a new trick or a new skill. Sure, they are proud of their great results, but what stokes them out most is progressing, getting better! “Winning” is obviously part and parcel of what I do as a coach, but perhaps the definition of winning is what we, as coaches, parents and athletes need to change.

I see it at the highest levels the strain that singular mind set can create. Internationally successful athletes judging their whole journey in the sport based on results. Its such a narrow, negative and rigid way of determining athletic growth and progression, and rarely accounts for any growth in the intangibles (passion, work ethic etc). Trying to change that mindset to one of developing elite skills and where results are an “effect” of that development is where sport needs to get to, and that starts at the top of the food chain, with the National Governing bodies, with the pro athletes and coaches and with how  we define “winning”.

It also requires a total change of mindset from our development coaches and us as parents as well. How we do that is the interesting conundrum, right? If all we see from the highest levels of sport is the “win at all costs” mentality, then surely that is the right way to go with our own kids?

Here are a couple of ideas for coaches:

1. Even up to the highest of levels, celebrate new skills. Make sure that not one day goes past where your athlete does not celebrate an accomplishment or a win.

2. Produce a culture of skills acquisition and progression. Of course you should know what skills your athletes need to progress and be competitive, and what they need to progress to the top of their sport, but winning does not need to be what you base your culture on. I would argue even in team sports like soccer, a culture can be created of focusing on improvement every day, which then leads to good results down the track.

3. Remember we are “star makers” not “stars”. We all got into coaching to work with kids and in sports we are passionate about. Share that passion, celebrate your ATHLETE’s success, and let them enjoy the limelight. Its not about you!

4. Keep it fun!

What can we do as parents to change the definition of winning?

1. Ask our kids what was the coolest new trick or skill they learnt, be it after training or after a competition. Celebrate the effort, celebrate your kids desire to push themselves to a new level of performance!

2. Buy into the coaches culture and team environment. Be a supporter, and if the culture is not one you feel is best for your kid, speak to the coach. Knowledge is power!

3. To kids, parents are their heroes. You have such a great chance to change how your kid defines winning and losing. Think about that for a second. Kids, especially at younger ages are very black and white. They see winning and losing as the only options. You can change the way your kids look at sport!

4. Keep it fun!

One thought I will leave you with. I was having a discussion with one of my riders; a 3 time Olympian, who brought up an interesting point and showed the mind set of a great athlete:

“If I do my best run ever and I get a 10th, I will still be super happy. To people that judge success by my result, it will look like I have failed. But it will just drive me to get better, because that will be a personal success, and thats what keeps me going. I need to see myself progressing and getting better. How do we get people to understand and celebrate that?”

And that is where coaches and parents can make such a HUGE difference in how we define “winning”. Not winning does not equate to losing.

Is simplicity the key to a happy life?

Its a fact: Our lifestyles are getting more complicated and fast paced every passing day. Every generation laments how life was better and simpler in the old days. How society is losing its grip of the niceties of yesterday.

Sure, I get it! Like all single parents, the constant juggle between kids, my job and having any semblance of “me” time is a constant balancing act, where one little blip on the radar can throw it into a state of chaos.

I am no expert, but here are a quick list of things that are helping me move towards a happy life:

• Define what you want your life to be. For me, its a simple, uncomplicated, happy life that I get to share with my kids. Nothing more, nothing less. The key is to identify things in your life you can rid yourself of that stand in the way of that goal.

• Its not selfish to take “me” time. If you cant work on finding some happiness for yourself, how can you make those around you happy? Call it self discovery, personal reflection time…..it does not matter…but make some time every day dedicated to yourself. Those around you will thank you!

• Value who you are, not what you do.

• We all need to work, well, most of us. Find something you are passionate about, take some chances to chase a career that is fun and fulfilling. Its not a sin to enjoy what you do. And put it this way, if you are smiling at work, imagine how much you will be glowing when spending quality time with friends and family.

• Don’t over-schedule yourself or your kids. We all need some down time. By simplifying schedules, it allows us to mentally and physically take a break. I find this helps me become more creative, and I get some of my best ideas this way. It also allows you to just “be” with friends and family. These are times to be valued!

• Sometimes you just have to let things slide. Nothing is permanent and forever. To have your present and future clouded by your past really makes NO sense. You cant change history, but if you hold on to it, it sure as hell can change your present and future. Who wants that???

In a complicated world, simplicity can be the key. Sometimes we all just need to stop and take it all in. If you don’t, you just might miss some really cool stuff.

I am nowhere near where I want to be, but hopefully Im getting there. Hit me back with any keys you guys are using. Would love to know more!

Environments are the key to success and happiness

I was reading a book last summer, and it spoke about ways to find happiness, and one of the things it explained was this:

The writer was looking outside her window and was watching a squirrel going about its business. It was collecting nuts, running around, whistling happily and doing all the things that squirrels do in their environment. To the writer, it looked happy. She then wondered how this squirrel would do if it was taken into an environment it did not know or thrive in, like the middle of the desert. It would still be a squirrel, but it would not be able to be the best squirrel it could be, nor would it be able to participate in things that made that squirrel happy. It highlighted the importance of environment…a HEALTHY, SUCCESSFUL environment that would allow the squirrel to thrive.

It really struck a chord with me. Part of my coaching philosophy has always been about “creating environments for success”. Putting my athletes in a situation where they are having fun with like minded people, there is a natural flow in the group and its backed up by professional coaching and infrastructure. Pretty simple, and it has worked.

But it also has led me to expand upon that philosophy with regards to ALL facets of our lives. In our family life, our professional lives and in our social lives. Environment is a key to success in all of these.

Why is this? Lets take a quick look at some reasons:

1) HAPPINESS BEGETS HAPPINESS:

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”  – Buddha.

Buddhism expands upon this quote by highlighting that before you can help make other people happy, you must first find happiness in yourself. You must love yourself and value yourself.

Environment plays a key role in this. I have been battling with this myself for the past few years. I wonder why I am always happiest near the ocean (pretty obvious…I’m a surfer who lives in the mountains!), and why I am a bear when I get back to where I live. Its because I’m a squirrel in the desert. I live in a place that makes me unhappy. This makes me offload that unhappiness off on my kids and friends. Not cool!

Just as happiness begets happiness, unhappiness begets unhappiness. If you are in an environment that adds stress, adds to your unhappiness, then get out. Its doing you, your loved ones and your friends no favors. Go find your happy environment!

2) FIND AN ENVIRONMENT THAT LETS YOU THRIVE!:

There is the parable of the sower that can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_Sower

Basically, it illustrates that things will thrive best when in the best environment for them. We all want to be happy and successful, but we cant possibly do that if we are in an environment that does not allow us to fulfill those wishes, or at least give us the best chance to do that.

If I LOVE surfing and want to get better at surfing, I’m probably not going to live in Nebraska! I am going to move to California for example, to be in the a great environment with like minded people. Which leads us to a our next point…..

3) FIND AN ENVIRONMENT WITH LIKE MINDED PEOPLE WITH SHARED EXPERIENCES:

Okay, and I hope none of my friends in Colorado takes offense to this, but I live in a place where I really have no common experiences or shared experiences with people in my community except for my job. That is no-one’s fault, I just am not into mountain activities except snowboarding, in which I earn my living. I’m not a mountain biker (I don’t like lycra!), not a hiker, not a fly fisherman, not a hunter….and I really wish I was (except maybe a hunter)…but its just not my thing. It makes it very difficult to cultivate a social environment of success, and can lead to loneliness and agitation. Yet, when I get back to water, start surfing I am back in an environment with like minded people, with similar experiences to my own. Its makes it easy to forge friendships and thrive.

4) (FOR US PARENTS) A POSITIVE, LOVING ENVIRONMENT IS KEY FOR YOUR KIDS:

Obviously, we know this applies to within the house…but it is almost MORE important with regards to where you live, the schools your kids attend and the activities they are involved in. Childhood can be a make or break time for our grommets…..and frankly, kids can be SO cruel. Why have your kids in a place that will destroy their froth of life?

My kids are a great example. Their dad is a snowboard coach. They don’t mind snowboarding, but definitely not their passion. Winter’s are tough on them….they don’t want to be on the mountain every weekend and school holiday. They love the warmth, the water, surfing and the dramatic arts.

Due to this, we are moving to a place that allows them to thrive and to have access to the things that excite them…that will help them grow and expand.

This applies to the schools they attend. Make sure that it offers all your kids need to grow.

5) YOU HAVE TO LOVE WHAT YOU DO. DON’T BE SCARED TO DREAM!

Its so easy to get locked into a job or career that pays the bills. But does that make you happy? Does that inspire you? Is that work environment one that’s going to help you be the best YOU you can be.

We live in changing times. The 9 to 5 route may not be the best alternative for all of us, although I am sure it works for some.

A recent study confirms that all of us are actually spending close to 50 hours per week…minimum…working in our careers. That’s a big chunk of time! You might as well make sure that you are in a professional environment you enjoy!

I see so many folks that have nothing left in the tank after working. No quality time for themselves, their kids, their partner or their friends. Seems insane, right?

Might as well take some chances, dare to dream and fins something that you love doing…hey, you might even make a living from it!

Environments have been a key to happiness, success and personal expansion that seems to be overlooked by a great many of us.

I have been lucky to learn from my own career….a career I am lucky enough to love….just how important environments are.

Go find your environments…go be happy….and dare to dream!

Schools out for summer! Now what for our young athletes?

As another school year winds down for kids all around the country, parents like me and you now have the task of planning out summer for our kids. This has to be a balance between time we want to spend with them, the activities they want to do and how much flexibility we actually have as we try to balance family life, summer activities and a real job.

For parents of young athletes, the task can get even harder. Inevitably, you are not looking at just putting your kids in a local camp close by your home. It often involves travel, more than a dash of money, and a smorgasbord of choices for a parent to weed thru to come up with the best scenario for their kids.

Below I have put together a list of helpful hints that might aid us parents in planning for our junior athletes this summer:

1. Let age be a guiding force!

I am not a fan of early specialization for kids, but some sports like gymnastics, snowboarding, free ride skiing, surfing, skateboarding you tend to see kids specialize a little earlier due to the reliance on acrobatic skills. Still, I would say even for those sports a kid does not need to be narrowing their focus to one sport and activity before the age of 11. But kids do sports because they LOVE it, and any passion should be supported and celebrated. I don’t see anything wrong with an athlete under the age of 11 doing a camp or two for their chosen sport. It builds skills and allows them to get added mileage, which is key at young ages. Make sure that the key to the camp is fun and progression only! Over 11 years of age, I think its quite reasonable that the focus will narrow on skills designed for competitive success, just keep it realistic and still make fun the key!

2. Variety is the spice of life!

The great news for us parents is that there are SO many offerings for our kids, and so every activity they do does not have to be based on one sport. It can be a mixture that will keep our kids engaged and having fun, build athleticism and fitness, and still aid in building skills for our kids chosen sports.

Lets take a junior snowboarder for example. A kid does not necessarily need to do 3 or 4 camps every summer to keep progressing. 1 to 2 directed camps would be fine with the focus on progression. This could be combined with a surf camp, skateboarding and some wakeboarding. All different sports, all different canvases to create on, but all building great skills in our young shredder.

This example can be related to a myriad of sports.

3. Watch the burn out!

Kids don’t need to be on the grind 24/7 during summer. They need some down time…..some time to just chill around the house and enjoy life. I have seen the effects with my own children where they are scheduled out the wazoo. Leads to stress, burn out and a lack of enthusiasm. I give my guys a choice of a couple of camps, we have a couple of trips and then they get to hang with friends and be close to the home base. The good news is they stay active on their own accord, it keeps them creative and helps their stoke level.

4. Keep that smile on their dial!

No-one knows your kid better than you! As parents, our kid’s happiness is the number one key. So keep your grommet smiling, having fun and exploring life. They don’t need to be the new Shaun White, Lindsey Vonn, Kelly Clarke, Peyton Manning or Ronaldo. Just keep them happy and stoked on participating in sports. Success will grow from that stoke!

5. Get out there with them!

There is a tendency with youth athletes to treat them as mini adults. We forget they are still kids that want to spend quality time with their parents and families. Sp parents, get out there and have a go with them. Have your kids give you a lesson, get stoked and share their passion. It will go a long way to developing a great relationship with your athlete, and might even develop another activity for yourself. Sometimes a parents place does not always have to be on the sideline!

Hope these few hints help with your summer planning. I know I am stoked to surf with my kids, skate with my son and enjoy the warmth.

Have a great summer folks, and enjoy that time with your kids!

Passion or Pain?….Job or Calling?

I’m a pretty emotional guy. I need to be fully invested and passionate and in all I do: my relationships, my job, my hobbies and my life. As soon as I lose that, my interest level drops and I start going thru the motions. Occasionally, you need a good kick in the pants to help you hit reset, so that you can get your juices flowing and re-focus on what’s important to you.

I have always seen my “career” as a coach as more than a job. It was a calling. Something I loved. Something I took pride in. Something I have done for 20 years! I did not do it for the money (I could be earning a lot more money doing something else!). I did not do it for the fame or the notoriety. I just loved helping kids and athletes reach their goals and progress as people in something that we were both passionate about.

This last season was the hardest of my career. For the first time in 18 years, my calling had become a job. It had stopped being fun. I had lost my passion for it. I was now one of those dudes that was working for a paycheck, and not working specifically to improve other people’s lives. It was not that I was doing a bad job. Far from it. My athletes improved and made strides. It was not that hated it either. There were some fun times. What had really happened is I lost the purpose of why I loved to coach!

There were a few reasons for that, and I’ll share with you those that were within my control so that it might help you should you ever get in that career funk –

1. Jack of all trades, master of none: I fully over extended myself, and was taking on roles that frankly, I was not passionate about, nor did I excel at. One thing that I notice of most coaches, is that they are very giving people. The majority of time, they will put their own needs below that of the athlete. This tends to see you lose focus on what’s important, what you are passionate about, and most importantly, what you excel at.

2. Know your value and trust your talents: My need to please all people, and to be adaptable, took me FAR away from this philosophy. In any calling, it normally takes talent and expertise. My whole career I had played by a certain set of parameters that had made me successful. There were certain structures, protocols and decision making that I had control of that I need to stay passionate and successful. I lost sight of these, and did not take control of the situation.

3. Stay true to YOUR environment for success: Anecdotally, I have heard many friends and family speak in fear of leaving a job, even in they hate it, or even if it’s in an environment that does not get them excited and passionate. No job is worth the money if you are unhappy, and in a situation that’s not a fit. I speak of “environments for success” to all my athletes, yet I set myself up in one that would not allow me to do what I loved to best of my ability. Sometimes, things just are not a fit, and you need to have the foresight to not put yourself in that position.

4. Passion trumps a paycheck: We all have bills to pay, we have to eat, pay rent, mortgages, support our families etc. I get that. But for how I’m wired, the paycheck does not mean much if I’m not passionate and fully imbibing my job. The funny thing that I have found with me is that my quality of work will dip slightly in ALL careers I have done when I focus on the monetary part more than anything else.

5. Don’t lose your purpose: If you have truly found your calling, never forget why you started in the first place. If you have to cut your role back, take a backward step, or stop a role all together, do that. It’s important to wake up every day and be stoked on what you are doing!

We all have those tough moments in our careers. Its natural. I’ve had more than I would like to count, and I am hoping that I have learnt from those. Getting back to the core mission of why you started your career, of the parts that make you pumped and you excel at, are always a good way to narrow the focus on what is important. Don’t be scared to make those changes, and to challenge yourself to keep that passion flowing. It should not be pain, and its more than a job……it’s a calling!

Parenting and Coaching the Young Athletic Outlier.

I am fortunate to work be still working in an industry that I love, where I have been involved in working from frothing young kids all the way to Olympic champions, and with that experience I have seen all types of athletes, parents and coaches. I have also been lucky to be involved in all parts of the athletic development pipeline. It has been a blast!

I have a general philosophy that kids need to be kids. Let them be multi skilled athletes, let them enjoy many past times and allow them to find their passion. For the majority of the kids out there, it works fine. Most, you just want to be enjoying a healthy lifestyle and building a life long love of sports and physical activity. BUT….there is that small percentage that Malcolm Gladwell has named “outliers” that show a singular focus, from a very young age, as well as a passion and commitment to a sport, that sees them progress at a far higher rate. No matter what parents do by offering other activities, sports and past times, the kids focus for that one sport just wont be broken.

I have had parents, and also some coaches, ask me how you handle this type of youth athlete, especially when it flies in the face of what is philosophically and athletically sensible.

I have come up with a few points that will help coaches and parents to walk that fine line between early specialization, being a kid and encouraging other sports.

As you probably realize, I come from a snowboarding background, so much of what I have seen comes from that experience, but I think its practicalities apply to ALL sports!

1/ Coaches:

• Look for crossover sports that can still be linked to the athlete’s one sport of the passion, but provide the kid to build athletic skills in other sports. In snowboarding, for example, look at gymnastics, trampolining, surfing, skateboarding. For those team sports kids out there, look at other team sports that have similar concepts and help to build team work and co-operation in those athletes.

• Focus on stoking the kids out on skill development and acquisition rather than results. This will help keep the stoke factor up and the burn out factor down. Kid’s at young ages are not developmentally ready to have to deal with a finite win and loss EVERY single week. Yes, it is super important to bring competition in and use as a learning experience, but at this tender age, it does not need to be the most important piece.

• Limit directed training. This too can lead to burn out! Once again, kids don’t have the ability to concentrate for long periods of time. Sneak learning up on them, enjoy the “doing” of the sport! Mileage is key!

• Check your technical language. With young crew, for example, I try not to call any session I have with the kid “training”…rather, I call it “sessioning”. It makes it more fun, seem less tedious and less like work. Remember, keep those kids pumped! (this seems to work with athletes of ALL ages!)

• Encourage participation….snow time does not always need a coach! This goes for team sports as well. Kids learn best, while young from doing. So a kid who is singularly focused on basketball does not need to be with a coach or in summer camps all the time. Just out bouncing the ball, taking shots and playing with friends can be just as beneficial and important. Coaches can help by encouraging this by length and regularity of training times.

• Limit competition and go heavier on skills building. Yes, competition is an important part of what we do, but the general rule is the younger the athlete, the less important competition is. Look for fun events, reward effort and progression. They will plenty of time to compete as they move thru their competition lives. Don’t lose sight of the bigger picture!

2/ Parents:

• Share the stoke, don’t be the coach! Encourage your kid to enjoy the sport, but allow your child to have ownership of their sport. Let the coach do his or her job!

• Communication with your child’s coach so you are all on the same page.

• Kids need to be kids. Don’t let the whole family units life be determined and driven by youth sports. Take them on holidays, enjoy other activities….make sure your provide balance for your child regardless of talent level.

• As with coaches, encourage cross over activities that your kid realizes will help there area of emphasis, but will also have them involved in a new activity, increase sociability and keep them happy!

• Be the master of the high five! Reward your child’s efforts, look for the positives. This is critically important in competitions. For young athletes, a loss can be devastating…so be that rock for you child! As John Lennon says; “All you need is love!”

It is awesome to have a child super focused and self motivated with regards to sport. Its not a passion you want to crush, BUT…..it is something that needs to be managed to so that we have happy, stoked and well adjusted kids.

Hopefully you can use some of these ideas if you are the coach or parent of an outlier, Good luck!

Separating Identity from Athletics – Creating an Exit Strategy.

I was having a great chat with one of my former, supremely successful athletes a couple of months ago. Just reminiscing on the fun times we had, how proud I was of him and most importantly, how great it was to see him leave the sport under his own terms, with no regrets and nothing but fond memories of a close to 20 year career at the highest level.

With more discussion, it really helped to illustrate to me the following. I have really been seeing in ALL levels and ages of sport is how closely an individual’s self worth is inherently tied to their success as an athlete. We have seen so many cases in lots of professional sports, of athletes hanging on TOO long as they really struggle with moving on to the next phase of their lives. It can be a time of confusion and doubt. Being an athlete is all they have known, and to suddenly be out of the limelight, their culture and their LIFE can be crushing.

Of course, we are only talking about PRO athletes here, but the thing is, it effects athletes of all ages. From youth all the way thru. And it can sometimes stem from coaches and parents putting so much pressure and ownership onto the athlete that it is hard for younger and maturing athletes to adequately separate WHO THEY ARE FROM WHAT THEY DO!

I have had to approach this in my own career on countless occasions. From dealing with career ending injuries, to the choice of continuing to compete vs going to college, and also when some of my riders had to choose between different sports, or between athletics and career. Clearly life changing decisions!

There are many things we can do as coaches and parents to do this, which have been discussed before such as life lessons vs success, character vs win at all costs, teaching a life long love of a sport vs the narrow sphere of winning. But what has also helped me greatly is to create an ATHLETE EXIT STRATEGY for all those you are fortunate to share athletics with. The strategy should include the coaches and athletes input, and of course the parents.

What are some of the things you should include in an exit strategy?

1. Career critical times in the athletes career to discuss options eg End of school, End of middle school with multi sport athletes, major injury, Descending results of older athletes.

2. Honest evaluation of the progression of the athlete

3. Life opportunities vs Career opportunities

4. What is best for the PERSONAL growth of the athlete?

5. Investment vs Realistic Goals.

Honesty, with both the athlete AND the parent is the best way to go. Sometimes, the parent will have a harder reaction than your athlete will.

When its all said and done, as coaches we MUST ALWAYS put the person first and the athlete second. We are blessed to work with these kids, and at the end of the day we want to see them as happy, functioning people that take away a love of a sport that has been such a critical part of their upbringing and childhood. As a coach, you play an important role in the overall development of the kid.

Having an exit strategy is just another part of making sure that an athlete has an identity as the person they are. It is very hard in elite athletics, and with the stress that youth sports can place on our kids, for our charges not to see their success as an athlete intrinsic to their success as a person, The funny thing is that kids get into sports as a compliment to their lives, and for some, its a respite from another part of their life that might not be going as well. So creating a situation where the kid sees themselves as a success or failure in sports hardly makes good sense! Sure, celebrate the competitive successes, but celebrate the kid first. They are going to have to be comfortable in their own skin way after their competitive careers are done.

Life Lessons Learnt from being a SIngle Dad.

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive”

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

There are a couple of undeniable truths that I know about myself:

• I am a gypsy

• I see life as an adventure

• I am an eternal kid

• I want to share the journey with a like-minded partner

• I will take calculated risks to provide this life for me and my kids

These truths above I see as positive, but there are a couple of other’s that make some of the above seem almost untenable:

• I am totally an acquired taste

• I am emotional

• I love people, but when I reach my fill, and need alone time.

• I am EFNP personality type. We only make up 7% of the population and are almost a mix of contradictions in a lot of ways! (You can read about it here and maybe check out what your personality type is http://www.16personalities.com/enfp-personality)

I see life as one HUGE learning experience. I live from my gut, wear my emotions on my sleeve. I try to take my head out of my life decisions, as I am instinctual, and try to use my brain as a confirmer rather than a ruler.

I try to teach my kids to take chances, dare to dream and provide them with experiences rather than items. I try to set that example for them by doing that myself. I am extremely proud of my kids.

This past week has been a HUGE learning and growth experience. I turned a year older, I packed up my house and moved from a place I have resided for 15 years. It signified a start of a new life. I offended people, acted like a jack ass, was over emotional and kind of lost the plot for the first time in a LONG time! Clearly the knucklehead gene is still active in this old body!

But you know what, it was good! I learnt and grew from it. Mistakes are only mistakes if you don’t learn from them. I look at them as teachable moments!

I am so psyched on my next part of my life…excited for what it will bring, and want to share that journey with others, but you know what, the journey is not going to mean squat unless I have the courage to do it by myself.

I love being surrounded by people. I know I want to share my life with someone. One thing that divorce has taught me is to rely upon myself. You have to. As a single parent you have to be on top of your stuff, but it also teaches you that you don’t have to have a partner as a crutch….as someone to hold your hand. That you have to rely upon yourself, have confidence in yourself, and love yourself first before you want to bring anyone into that space.

It’s taught me to trust in the universe. I know now when things are supposed to happen, they will. You just can’t rush good things……they take time……no matter how much you want them. It’s definitely taught me that you don’t live life, it lives you, and you just have to hang on for the ride and fully embrace it.

I have been taught to live in the moment. You can’t change the past, you can’t manipulate the future. If your mind and heart are focused on that, you miss what is going on right now. You will miss the adventure that life is.

It has taught me that without pain, there is not love, without mistakes there is not growth, without passion there is not life….existence maybe….but not life!

Most importantly, life’s journey has, for the most part, been as fun as hell, and it keeps getting better. Life is all about growth, all about being the best YOU you can be, and having a positive effect on the world. It’s about loving those around you, it’s about pain, sorrow, tragedy, laughter, friendship, love and fun.

Never give up, don’t waste a minute, learn from everything, live 100% and don’t be scared to try. Learn to love yourself, to trust yourself, feel comfortable being alone and don’t be scared to follow your life’s path by yourself…..I have total confidence not only for me, but for everyone, things will just fall into place!